Surprisingly. I have left this sentimental blog for 2 months. Just like the restaurant's boss asked me "what took u so long to come back?" I think it is time, time to practice my writing skill before my skill gets worst. I had a very amazing Chinese New Year with my family and good friends. Everything has changed from my hometown. The only thing that remain was we were still calling up the same old friends. We were still drinking the same old drink in the same old place. We were still singing the same old songs which brought back the good old memories. Sometime I do stuck in the past. When I passed by the bar which we go usually I will still imagine we were laughing like nobody's sons over there. When I randomly got something to say and I turn my head to the left then I realize you have got down from my car and will be flying away in few hours time.
Every year I go back for holiday. The changes of the environment and people just like a blink of an eye. Many new faces. Many new shops. It gave me some kind of fear like am I getting old? It makes me realize there are many stages in life when you observe the teenagers, the college boys, the working adults, the mid age adults, the retired men and the old men. We will get old even we are not putting any effect. The question is not about your age. The question is where are you standing right now? Let us pause for a sec. Imagine, you are in a tall concrete building. Every floor will give u a different vantage point because of the different height. Ground floor will give you the angle of eye level. When you go up to 10th floor you will know which roof top is having some leaking problems. When you go up to 20th floor you may accidentally look into people's private live. When you go up to 30th floor you will have the full map of this land and you will figure out where to go next. When you reach 40th floor you will able to predict where the cars and people are going, just like how you predict the ants.
So...How do we look at the circumstances, are we still looking at it like a beginner? When obstacle comes, do we handle it wisely or angrily? Its not every people can reach the highest floor in their live. Even I myself has been stagnated at the same floor for years. Some people insist to stay the same. Some adults behave like a teenager. Some old man/woman still seeking for attention like a kid. Some married men lives like a single man. There are too many things are yet to see if we insist to stay at the same floor. When we are seeing the same view everyday, our idea and exposure will be very limited. Lee says the only way to maintain a good relationship is non stop transforming. If you were wounded and broke down at the stairs, how long its going to take for you to recover? How many month or how many years to get back to the fast track again?
The new rivals appear is some kind of threat. I look at them and I wonder how fast is their walking pace? how many step they travel per sec? How far they can go? Everyday we have so many new and young comers. There's no forever young in this world. What makes us different is how much we can grow and develop ourselves from the daily life. Follow Jesus doesn't mean you don't face difficulties. Just like Saint Peter denied Jesus 3 times because he wanted to protect himself during the very dangerous moment. Just like the very challenging questions that Jesus asked him: Do you love me? Repeatedly 3 times.
I talked to a man during the lent season. I told him about my problems. He gave me some advises. He said there are many challenges and struggles in life. Even your family members can give you a lot of challenges. It depends how you look at the problem. He said its useless to play a Mr nice man character but without a changing heart. The only way to change the heart is pray. We will only stop attacking until we are granted by the mercy of God. Lets pray for God's mercy. Mercy gives us hope.
I was drinking with my dad last month. I had raised some questions for him. I said: "The situation will be very dangerous if we continue to unfix this financial problem. we may turn the debt into motivation but the debt may turns us into a broken man." My dad was speechless for secs and he replied: "I know its very hard to stand with this situation but all you need to do is keep pressing and holding on." I was impressed to hear that and that was what I wanted to hear.
Eventually. I haven't figured it out, how and what to transform from myself even though I have watched all the Transformer movies. Sadly, it doesn't help. All I got to do is reach out and seek for the answer. Only transformation can make us move. Only prayers can transform our harsh action. If at this vantage point doesn't give u a good view, maybe it is time to change.